What the Doctor really means

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What the Doctor says

What the Doctor really means

"This won't hurt a bit." "It will hurt a lot."
"This should be taken care of right away." "I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself."
"Welllllll, what have we here..." Since he hasn't the foggiest notion of what it is, the Doctor is hoping you will give him a clue.
"We'll see." "First I have to check my malpractice insurance."
"Why don't we make another appointment later in the week." "I'm playing golf this afternoon"
"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm." Since he hasn't the faintest idea of what to do, he is trying to appear thoughtful while hoping the nurse will interrupt. (Proctologists also say this a lot.)
"We have some good news and some bad news." The good news is he's going to buy that new BMW, and the bad news is you're going to pay for it.
"That's quite a nasty looking wound." "I think I'm going to throw up."